needs and wants...

ta ku (papa's eldest cousin sister - ah poh's side) drop by to borrow mama's formal black skirt for su ean jie jie. she needs it for her leo club installation night. ta ku was saying that is a waste to buy one where most probably she will only wear it once. moreover, is not cheap nowadays.

ta ku told many stories she experience with su ean jie jie's needs and wants. mama just thought of what will i do? what shall i do in future for ian? what is correct? which is correct? look at these, what i could think of. my dilemmas...

if you give what he wants because his friends has it, then you will just encourage him to request more. whatever his friends has, he will want too.

if you don't give, his friends might laugh at him. this might discourage him to mix with his friends. might make him loose confident. kids won't think when they laugh at each other. they won't feel that they might hurt others' feelings.


talking about being laughed. i think i experience enough of it. but i never bother with it. when i go to school i use a kind of bag mum bought, not backpack like the rest is using. we need to take lots of books to school each day. 1 bag is not enough as the bag mum bought is not big enough and also not strong enough, so i took another smaller bag. a cloth bag that mum made. i still remember the panda bear. the pink cloth with panda bear. besides that, i used to tie my hair in plaits. 2 plaits. everyone called me thong san mui - china girl.

we all went to school with no pocket money. each day, mum will prepare bread. that's what we have been having till secondary school. even till i am in my form six. i never buy food from canteen during recess. till now i still won't mind having bread each day for breakfast. even for lunch, dinner. i won't mind. so, everyone know that i am senless. not sense is sen. no money. not even a sen. is like a joke for them but i never bother.

we ride bicycle to school. imagine that opposite our school there is a bicycle repair shop. when our bike is out of order but due to we are senless, yet we are afraid to leave our bike in school, after school, afraid to loose it, we will push our bike all the way home. get money from mum and push it all the way back to the shop opposite our school to get it repaired. some of the case is like we lost our key. you will have to carry to lift up the tyre that was locked, so that you can push it.

painful to think about it but that's our days back in school. we survive. but i really wonder what should i do when it comes to ian. want him to go through the pain so that he can be tough or protect him from all these? good question. still have time to think. but time flies. soon the time will come.