injured finger - getting worst...

ian's injured finger changes color after he hurt it again on saturday night. mama really worry everytime looking at his finger. worry that his nail will fall off. but still haven't give up. keep applying cream for him.

papa was off yesterday. suppose to be a relaxing day. we will all be having dinner together. going to finish up the bak kut teh we had for dinner yesterday. while papa preparing for dinner and mama help out, as usual at that time mama will leave ian watch tv. papa went out setting up for dinner. suddenly he scolded ian for putting his injured finger into his mouth. i was really shock looking at his finger. it turns pale. you can really see the nail separated from his finger.

omg!! mama's nightmare really happened. ian's nail will be falling off. really can't take it. can't accept that's going to happen. we had an argument. we always argue due to ian. we both take ian very important to us that's why we always argue over him. pa, mama don't mean to lost myself but i really can't accept the fact that that's what going to happen to ian. he is not even 2 and this is happening to him. is all my fault. if only i insist of not going out on saturday night and keep an eye on him more. it suppose to get better and now it get worst. how can i let this happen. have been monitoring it closely last week since the incident happen and we feel glad that is pretty obvious that is getting better day by day. everything is gone now. really feel so sad and heartache. feel so sorry for him.

eventually we seek advise from dr deng. dr still say that the nail should not fall off. still can see that it still attached. but of course due to ian repeatedly hurt it, the die off part is really huge. dr said can put plaster to avoid ian hurting it again. by looking at it, it left not much being attached. if ian were to accidentally get it detached, it will be like peeling it off the attached part and is going to hurt. even bleed. can't bare that to happen. dr said if the nail were to fall off, it will take about 6 months to fully grow back. 6 months!! that's too long. can't let it happen.

mama trust dr. mama believe. ian's nail will not fall off. the plaster will surely help. papa said we must believe in order for things to happen. will also pray hard for ian to recover fast.